


Don’t Cry Over Spilt Coffee

by mckays_girl



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Adult Themes, First Time, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, may squick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-11
Updated: 2007-05-11
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:01:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9994007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckays_girl/pseuds/mckays_girl
Summary: "No.  It's just one more backwater planet filled with easy women," Rodney answered, fixing Sheppard with another scathing look.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the fabulous girly_curl_3 for the beta! Inspired by [THIS](http://community.livejournal.com/mckay_sheppard/1522481.html) really lovely picture by Kiden. Oh, and I was informed that some people are squicked by toe sucking - you have been warned.

"You done yet, McKay?" Ronon grumbled, twirling his gun on his finger like a gunslinger. Sometimes Rodney wanted to buy the man a cowboy hat. And a lasso. Definitely a lasso.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so," Rodney groused. "There's nothing here." After an hour of exploring the ruins looking for the faint energy signal his scanner had picked up, the only thing Rodney had found was a dead, smelly animal and a broken spear. He was annoyed at wasting so much time.  
  
"Good. Let's go eat." The smirk he reserved for food and weapons spread across the Satedan's face.  
  
"Fine," Rodney huffed. Normally he would have been excited about the prospect of food, but he was hot and tired and dusty. He trudged along beside Ronon, complaining loudly about the distance between the ruins and the village and why Sheppard wouldn't let them take the Puddlejumper.  
  
"McKay."  
  
"What?" Rodney snapped.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
The women of PX6-825 were exceptionally beautiful, Rodney noted, when they arrived at the village. They entered the pavilion where the food was being served and slid into seats next to Teyla. Sheppard sat across from them with a priestess on either side, practically draping themselves over him. He was leaning back in his chair with a grin, looking entirely too relaxed for Rodney's liking.  
  
When Sheppard glanced up Rodney shot him a glare and Sheppard scrunched up his face the same way he did when he didn't understand what Rodney was talking about. Rodney gave up glaring in favor of frowning at the plate of food placed before him by one of the servant girls. "Does this have citrus in it?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"Relax, Rodney," Sheppard drawled, sitting forward. "I wouldn't let you eat anything that would kill you or damage that big brain of yours."  
  
"Yes, thank you for that, Colonel," he said sarcastically. Rodney's head jerked up sharply at the brush of a thumb sweeping across his cheek. He stared at Sheppard apprehensively.  
  
"You had dirt on you face," Sheppard explained sheepishly.  
  
***  
  
The rest of the mission went by gloriously fast, and before he knew it Rodney was sitting in the conference room, trying to get through a debriefing with Elizabeth. He was having trouble concentrating because he spent the entire meeting still glaring at Sheppard the intergalactic space-slut, whose eyes kept darting nervously back and forth between Rodney and Elizabeth. Could that man ever keep it in his pants? Teyla was droning on about the harvest festival and Ronon was playing with his gun looking just as bored as Rodney felt.  
  
"Rodney. Rodney!"  
  
Elizabeth saying his name very loudly finally dragged his attention away from that man-whore, Sheppard. "What?" he barked.  
  
"I've called you five times," she said in an exasperated tone. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Um, yes?" Rodney squeaked. He cleared his throat. "Yes. Of course I'm alright," he replied, regaining some of his usual gusto. "I've just been busy thinking very, uh, sciency thoughts."  
  
"Sciency?" Sheppard questioned, arching an eyebrow, letting a familiar grin grace his features.  
  
"Oh, shut up," Rodney retorted.  
  
"As I was saying," Elizabeth interrupted. "Was there anything of technological interest on this planet?"  
  
"No. It's just one more backwater planet filled with easy women," Rodney answered, fixing Sheppard with another scathing look.  
  
Sheppard's grin faltered. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"That's enough, gentlemen. If there is nothing else constructive to add," she looked pointedly at the two of them, as if daring them to respond, "then this meeting is adjourned."  
  
"Rodney," Sheppard called as he stood from his chair.  
  
"Can't talk now, Colonel. I have to make sure the trained monkeys didn't blow up my lab while I was away." Instead of going to his lab, Rodney fled to his room.  
  
***  
  
The shower felt amazing, washing off the dust and grime of a completely uneventful mission. Uneventful for him, at least. He was sure there were plenty of events for Sheppard. He sighed heavily as he pulled on a clean pair of boxers. He was not sulking over Sheppard's sexual escapades. Absolutely not.  
  
A tinny voice buzzed through the radio on his desk.  
  
"What?" he snapped as he hooked it over his ear.  
  
"McKay, I have the results of the power consumption reduction simulations if you would like to take a look."  
  
"I'll be right there, Radek." Rodney slipped into his pants and tugged a t-shirt over his head. Rummaging around in his drawer and finding some clean socks, he hopped around his room trying to put them on without actually sitting. He stuffed his feet into his sneakers, not bothering to untie them first, and left the room. Rodney took the nearest transporter to the lab, glad to see it was, in fact, not burned to a crisp in his absence.  
  
***  
  
Rodney looked at his watch. It was late. Even Zelenka had left for the night. He poured himself another cup of coffee, placing it carefully away from his precious equipment on the empty desk behind him as he hunkered down for another few hours of simulations. Whatever his minions had been doing while he was off-world, it wasn't science. He was seriously considering writing a letter to Frito Lay and asking them to please stop putting physics degrees in Cracker Jacks boxes.  
  
The door slid open and Rodney looked up to see Sheppard stride in. "Whatcha doin', Rodney?" he asked, peering over Rodney's shoulder.  
  
"Very important work. Now if you'll excuse me, Colonel."  
  
Sheppard leaned back on the desk and it wobbled precariously, sloshing Rodney's coffee. "Sheppard, if you spill even one drop of that coffee, I swear you won't have hot water for a week."  
  
"What the hell is your problem, Rodney?"  
  
Rodney stood up, leaning back on his own desk, his posture stiff. He ignored Sheppard's question, instead asking one of his own. "So, how was it?" he spat.  
  
Sheppard made the scrunchy face for the second time that day. "How was _what_ , Rodney?"  
  
"Don't be stupid, Colonel. You know what I mean. Your little priestess orgy," Rodney sneered while waving his hands around in somewhat rude gestures.  
  
"I didn't sleep with anyone," Sheppard said flatly, arms crossing over his chest defensively.  
  
"Oh please, you've been whoring yourself all over the galaxy."  
  
Sheppard was glaring at Rodney, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth pulling down into a deep frown. "Is that what you think of me, Rodney? You think I'm a slut? I'll have you know that I haven't gotten laid once in the three years we've been here." At some point Sheppard's hands had moved to his hips and **he** had moved into Rodney's personal space.  
  
"What?!" Rodney exclaimed. "You're kidding me, right? I mean, you're Kirk!" Now Rodney's hands were waving in a way that was meant to encompass the whole of Sheppard's body. His hot, hot body. Not that Rodney noticed. Or anything.  
  
Sheppard's hands fell from his hips and wound up neatly laced behind his back as he stared nervously at the ground. "Well, I've been waiting for the person I'm interested in to get a clue," he said casting a shy glance at Rodney.  
  
Then suddenly, everything clicked into place, sliding together like pieces of a puzzle. All those causal touches didn't seem so casual anymore. All those goofy grins, shared meals, nights alone hanging out . . . _Oh._ "Oh!" Rodney's eyes lit up like John was a chocolate coated, coffee flavored ZedPM.  
  
"Yeah, you big idiot."  
  
A wicked smile spread across Rodney's face as he closed the distance between them. "Here, let me help you with that not getting laid issue. Quickly, Colonel, jump up on this desk!" Rodney ordered while he manhandled Sheppard backwards.  
  
"Mmmmph," Sheppard said as Rodney mashed their lips together. With Rodney's help, he planted his ass on the edge of the table and gripped the sides for balance as Rodney pressed between his legs. "John," he whispered against Rodney's lips.  
  
"Hmmm," Rodney hummed as his left hand slid from John's knee to rest just below the hip.  
  
"Your dick is rubbing up against mine. I think you should call me John," he suggested pulling back to look at the scientist.  
  
"Whatever," Rodney said airily, flapping the free hand that wasn't holding John on the table. He decided to put that hand to good use and unbutton John's pants. He glanced down and smirked when he noticed the infamous blue striped boxers that had been taunting him for years, peeking out of the top of John's BDU pants every time he wore them on missions.  
  
"What?" John inquired.  
  
"Shut up," Rodney replied, fisting his hand into John's shirt, pulling it up to expose golden skin and dark hair. Rodney tipped forward, capturing John's mouth in another searing kiss. He ran his tongue along John's bottom lip, nipping at it and sucking it, before greedily diving in to taste John again.  
  
John shifted his hips and leaned back on one elbow while pulling Rodney closer to deepen the kiss. He gasped at the contact of his cock rubbing along Rodney's thigh and spread his legs wider, moaning softly as Rodney slowly rocked against him. The table was rocking along with them and there was the clank of ceramic against metal as the coffee mug tipped over. "Coffee," John murmured.  
  
"Screw it," Rodney retorted, trailing kisses down John's throat while simultaneously trying to remove his shirt unsuccessfully.  
  
Rodney huffed a frustrated breath against John's neck and abandoned it to lick a wet stripe from his sternum to the waistband of his boxers, Rodney's hands and mouth tracing patterns on John's skin. He used his foot to hook a rolling chair and yanked it over so he could sit comfortably while his tongue flicked over John's hip bone. When Rodney looked up, John was watching him with wide eyed fascination. Fingertips charted lightly muscled abs that shivered from the touch.  
  
John sucked in a breath when Rodney's thumb skimmed under his boxers, teasing the head of his cock. "God, Rodney."  
  
Rodney grinned smugly. "You should probably wait until I get to the good stuff before you start comparing me to deities," he said, his thumb rubbing along the slit.  
  
"Yeah, okay," John agreed, dazed and glassy eyed.  
  
Rodney chuckled and hooked his fingers into the waistband of John's boxers, tugging until John got the hint and lifted his hips enough for Rodney to push them down along with his pants. John's erection sprang free and Rodney leaned in, letting his breath ghost alone along its length.  
  
"Rodney," John whined.  
  
"Working here," he dismissed, the words dancing across the tip, earning him a shudder. Pinning John down, Rodney let his thumbs dig into bony hips. _That's going to bruise_ , he thought absently while he fluttered kisses along John's cock.  
  
"Quit teasing me," John complained from above.  
  
Rodney looked up. "Sheppard, you don't know the meaning of the word teasing. Yet." Starting from the base, he slowly dragged his tongue up to the head and then swirled around the tip until John was writhing underneath him with his eyes squeezed shut and his head thrown back.  
  
"Yeah, like that," John moaned. He sat up halfway suddenly and peered at Rodney through one open eye. "What the hell, Rodney?" he growled. "Why did you stop?"  
  
Rodney glanced up from where he was fumbling with John's boot laces. "Help me with these," he demanded. When John stared at him incredulously he snapped, "Do you want to get laid tonight, or what?"  
  
John hunched forward as much as he could with his pants around his knees and removed his boots and socks. Rodney was magnanimous enough to help take the pants and boxers off completely, leaving John in just a tight black t-shirt that was rucked halfway up his chest.  
  
Standing up again, Rodney grabbed the hem of John's shirt and yanked it over his head, tossing it on the floor in a careless heap. John wrapped his arms around his neck as Rodney plunged in for slow, wet kisses, learning the curve of John's mouth against his. He glided his tongue over smooth teeth, tracing the gums and roof and the inside of John's cheek, memorizing, gathering bits of data to savor.  
  
John's hair was still wet from a recent shower and Rodney threaded his hands through the short strands in the back, tugging until John arched his head to expose the sun-kissed skin of his neck. Rodney nipped lightly, knowing he couldn't leave a mark, even if he really wanted to. Instead he ran his tongue along the veins, tasting salt and sweat, gun powder and John. He sucked on an earlobe and was rewarded with a breathy moan. "You like that?"  
  
"Hmmm," John hummed contentedly.  
  
Rodney let his hands wander along John's naked back, feeling the muscles ripple under his touch. His lips traveled southward, making their way past the shoulders, down to peaked nipples that were begging for attention. Rodney was not one to be selfish. Okay, maybe he was, but really, in a way this was selfish. He flicked his tongue across the hardened flesh and sucked it into his mouth.  
  
"Rodney," John whispered. His hands had dropped down to Rodney's shoulders where they were currently clutching, his knuckles turning white.  
  
After a few light nibbles, Rodney switched sides, giving the neglected nipple as much attention as the first. When he was finally satisfied he'd done them both justice, Rodney continued down the path of hair that lead to John's groin. He reached up and pressed a hand to John's chest, pushing him onto the desk.  
  
When John finally leaned back, Rodney settled back into his chair and couldn't help taking a few moments to admire the view of John Sheppard spread out before him. After a minute, John craned his neck to watch Rodney. "Aren't you getting undressed?"  
  
"Patience, young Jedi," Rodney said, lightly circling a finger around John's hole for a fleeting moment.  
  
"Geek," John moaned, letting his head thump back onto the desk.  
  
Rodney shoved at John until he scooted back a bit on the desk, his feet propped on the edge. He nuzzled the crease of John's groin, breathing in the musky scent, while his hands played with the crinkly hair. John's dick was hard and leaking against his stomach, but instead of giving him what he so desperately wanted, given John's current whimpering, Rodney bypassed the cock completely and skipped right to John's thigh. He spent a good while sucking a very small patch of skin until it became a spectacular shade of purple, confident that it would be mistaken for a bruise received off-world. John's thighs quivered as Rodney kissed from his quadriceps to his ankles.  
  
"Rodney, please." John begged.  
  
"I'm getting there," he answered quietly. Rodney cradled the heel of John's foot gently in his hands.  
  
John sat up on his elbows and lifted his head again, looking at Rodney questioningly. "Rodney? What are you doing?"  
  
"Shhh," Rodney chided. "Let the master work." He took John's big toe into his mouth, sucking lightly and swirling his tongue delicately.  
  
"Oh. Oh wow. Oh, that's . . ." John closed his eyes, tipping his head back with a look of pure bliss.  
  
John's back was arched and his bottom lip was caught between his teeth and as Rodney glanced up his breath was taken away by the beauty of the sight before him. He gave every toe equal treatment, if only to watch the shifting expressions of pleasure written on John's face. At the end, he was open mouthed and panting and Rodney was ready to devour him right there.  
  
"God, Rodney that was amazing."  
  
"And just think, we haven't even gotten to the sex yet."  
  
"I think you're going to kill me," John groaned, as he sunk back down on the desk.  
  
Rodney rearranged John again so that his ass was at the edge of the desk and his legs were hooked over Rodney's shoulders.  
  
"I didn't know having sex with you would be like trying out for Cirque du Soleil," John teased, as he got settled.  
  
"Stop complaining and let me suck you," Rodney said taking the tip of John's cock in his mouth, sliding his lips over smooth, velvety skin.  
  
"No complaining here," John gasped.  
  
Rodney lapped at the slit, tasting the pre-come that had gathered there, bitter and salty. Grabbing the base of John's cock in his hand, he pressed his tongue against the bundle of nerves at the underside of the head, applying light suction. He bobbed up and down a few times, each instance going lower. Pulling off completely, Rodney switched to a licking technique, laving the sides with long sweeps of his tongue, first up one side and then down the other.  
  
John's breathing was harsh and ragged as he spasmodically clenched and unclenched his hands. His heels pressed into Rodney's shoulder blades; urging him on, beseeching him to do more, go faster, please, please, please. Rodney ignored his demands, instead focusing on his own plan. He swallowed John's cock, meeting his fist, and slid a finger alongside it, coating it with spit. Rodney removed his finger and brought it down to John's puckered hole, teasing along the edges.  
  
"Rodney," John sobbed.  
  
John sounded like he was getting close, so Rodney eased off his cock and concentrated on the silky heat as he worked his way slowly inside. His intention wasn't to stretch, only to give John pleasure, gently massaging his prostate. Rodney returned his attention to John's cock, with light, barely-there strokes of his hand and tongue, while he continued to finger-fuck John.  
  
"Jesus, Rodney, I need. I, I . . .," John babbled.  
  
"Shhh," Rodney soothed, before sliding down far enough for John's cock to bump the back of his throat.  
  
"Nnnnggghhh," John keened and pulsed warm and thick down Rodney's throat, his muscles contracting around Rodney's finger.  
  
Rodney swallowed the fluid, easing John through the aftershocks and pulling off gently, carefully withdrawing his finger. He rested his head on John's thigh, and waited for John to catch his breath. A hand was patting his hair, so Rodney looked up, leaning his chin on John's leg. "Are you coherent yet?" John's eyes were closed and he was shaking his head. Rodney laughed. "I guess it was good, then?" John smiled and sighed happily.  
  
A few minutes later John's head jerked up. "How long was I out?" he mumbled.  
  
"Three minutes," Rodney replied.  
  
"Oh, good. So, uh, my turn," he said, gesturing at Rodney.  
  
"Definitely your turn," Rodney agreed.  
  
"Get undressed and switch with me," John said, sliding off the desk.  
  
Rodney stripped quickly and hopped onto the desk, his hard cock bouncing against his thigh. He arranged himself so he was propped on his elbows, wanting to watch the action. His stomach fluttered with anticipation for his blowjob as John hiked Rodney's legs over his shoulders. What he got wasn't what he quite expected when John settled himself a little lower than predicted.  
  
"John, what are you . . .? Oh, God," Rodney moaned as John's tongue flickered over his hole. "Oh, Jesus fucking . . . Ohgodohgodohgod." With each swipe of tongue Rodney became less articulate, his sounds turning into guttural whines. When John finally breached Rodney, wet tongue probing inside him, he couldn't even breathe, he just held on for the ride. When John's hand finally wrapped around his cock, Rodney came embarrassingly quickly.  
  
Like a big prowling cat, John crawled astride Rodney, nuzzling his neck and licking behind his ear. Who knew John Sheppard would be a cuddler? Rodney draped his arms lazily around John's back, basking in the afterglow of a well-deserved orgasm. "You're getting my come all over you," he informed John.  
  
"Yeah," John said, looking at him with a goofy grin.  
  
"You're kinda crazy."  
  
John leaned in to kiss him.  
  
"Oh, no you don't," Rodney protested. "You do remember where your tongue has been, don't you? You're not kissing me until you rinse your mouth with bleach."  
  
John rolled his eyes. "Well, Rodney, if you didn't like it, I guess I won't do it again."  
  
"I didn't say I didn't like it," Rodney backpedaled. "I liked it. Really, **really** liked it." Rodney nodded enthusiastically for encouragement.  
  
John kissed him hot and dirty and this time Rodney didn't protest.

  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=11674>  



End file.
